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There we go, a new year with new possibilities. Yet, I am confused. Right now, I feel like a complete mess, no longer sure of anything. This year has so far been quite a mixture of emotions. And right now, I am just trying to clear these emotions. Clarity is exactly what I need. But I am sure it'll come to me, eventually. It'll work out, eventually. Just wait and see. 

 

Here we go.

 

We people tend to see all the negatives about ourselves. Definitely when it comes to our own bodies. My breasts are too small. My thighs are too wide. My belly sticks out. My breasts are too big. My face is full of pimples. My hips are too wide. My ass is too small. I am not good enough. I am not good enough. 

Some of us stop eating unhealthy food. Some of us stop eating food in general. Some of us begin to jog on a regular basis. Some of us start exercising at the gym. Some of us cover our faces with make-up. Some of us hide underneath a mask of insecurity, because that's what we've become. Insecure. Insecure with ourselves. 

 

I admit that I exercise and jog on a regular basis and preferably stay away from unhealthy food. And it makes me feel good. It makes me feel good about myself. I somehow feel like a better person, a healthier person, and I enjoy the healthy lifestyle. 

 

But what I believe is of high importance here, is to remember the reason why you're doing it. Why are you eating the carefully chosen food in front of you? Why are you kicking your butt at the gym? Why are you putting all that make-up on your face? Is it for you, or for them? As long as you do it because you want to and not to make anyone else happy, I reckon it's nothing else but great.

 

I believe people around you see you as more beautiful than you can ever imagine. All those complexes we've got, I bet our surrounding don't even notice them. So, as a wise man once said; Don't worry, be happy. 

 

I woke up at 6:30 yesterday morning, and went to Skövde with Moa and Louise to play some seriespel. I played like shit, seriously speaking, it was a catastrophe. I was embarrased of my play. Okay, enough of that, at least I played way better in the double thank God. 

 

My very last autumn break has just begun. I have longed for this break, I really have. No homework to do or essays to write. The feeling of freedom and a week off from all the stress and scheduled up life you have as a student. Enjoy this week, fellow friends. 

 

My autumn break will start of with a Högskoleprov tomorrow morning 'til afternoon. Never done it before, so it will be interesting. Other than that, I've bought a new camera lens for my...wait for it.. camera. (shocking, I know.) It is a Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8 DX II, wide-angle lens. Brilliant for landscape-photography, but also architecture etc. It seems like a great, sharp lens. I can't wait for it to arrive. 

After school today, I went to Gothenburg with my very special friend, Ellen. She's a good special, you know, unique, weird as I am and we can talk with eachother about anything. So, yes, we had a great time. I bought some öronpuffs, Ellen didn't buy the tigerbeanie which suited her most impeccably. I bought a very fine jumperthingy, which I've already fallen for. After some shopping, we went to Starbucks and talked and laughed and fikade. This was a good day indeed. 

 

I've had three major tests in less than one week, and now, I can finally breath. And it feels great. I am longing for this coming autumn-break. But first off, I am longing for a good nights' sleep. Lately, I have been easily woken up in the morning by the slightest noise I hear, which has shortened my beautysleep. Tomorrow however, I have a late start starting at 12:10. I will make the best out of this, and most likely have a good nights' sleep. 

 

This is Cyprus. Yes, of course I miss it. 

 

Linnea and I'd planned on taking a long walk this weekend, and so we did. We walked all the way to Hemsjö, past Ingared, Norsesund, and back to Västra Bodarna. It took us just around 3 hours, and it was quite exhausting. It turned a bit chilly the last hour or so, which made it a delight to come home. Here are a few pictures from our walk;

 

John Mayer, thank you for your music. Your voice is so precious, there's nothing like it. Your guitar-play is beautiful, more than beautiful, there's nothing like it. 

 

This morning when I woke up, I thought it still was nighttime. But ay, it was 07:00, and yes, it was pitch-black. Well, maybe not pitch-black, but the sun surely hadn't risen at the time. 

 

School was ok. A long day with many lessons and fatigue. I appreciate people who actually go onto my blog and read my nonsense, altough you may not care at all times. 

 

Sometimes I want to escape, discover new places. Meet new people and have coffee at a random café with strangers surrounding me. Listen to conversations that other's are having, try to understand their point of view. Become inspired by new places and cultures and fantastic people and ordinary people. Be a backpacker in a foreign country. Climb the mountains, drink fresh water from the rivers, walk by the longest shores, watch the sun go up and the sun go down again. Feel peace. Feel composure. Feel alive. 

 

 

 

An issue at the moment, the lack of breathing-time. You know, when you can sit down, and simply breath. Feel composure and stillness in your soul. I am rather stressed out about a lot of different significant and unsignificant things at the moment. 

 

However, I went for a walk this morning. 

 

Listening to Bob Marley this morning, yes I am. If you ever feel depressed (which I am not at the moment for your information yes please do take notes) you should listen to his music. In my opinion, his music is very cheering. 

 

I've been doing some thinking. I want to travel around the world, going on roadtrips, become acquainted with people from diverse countries all over the world. Widen my view of life. I mean, life is too short, right? Say I would enter some University as soon as I terminate (word of choice hm) High School. I'll spend my days studying and not much more than that. And say I would, two years later (still studying),  die because of a car accident or some other unfortunate accident. Okey, yes, this does sound a bit harsh, but do you understand my point here? I don't want to waste my time, not that studying is wasting, not at all. I will study something sometime, but before that, why not do the things I am aching to do? Such as travel around the world?  Morning thoughts ay.

 

 

Good afternoon.
I am glad for knowing the people I know. I mean, I am damned lucky if you ask me. And life is too short not to say what you think and not doing what you want to do. 
I am considering to become a vegetarian. Some animals circumstances are just horrible, and it sure is more enviromental to eat vegetarian food. Maybe I should pick the vegetarian alternative if I have a choice. I should make an effort and try at least.